I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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