How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
do herpes really smell.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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