you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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