Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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