Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
