ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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