At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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