you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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