Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
