you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
