put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I supernannyed him into submission
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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