i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
