make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
