I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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