i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
How external is "for external use only"?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
