You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
