So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize