Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
