god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
