I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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