This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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