awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
