I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
