i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
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i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
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Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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