i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize