take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Randomize
