Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.