She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm getting married
To pizza
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
