I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.