that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
