I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
