Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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