My room smells like vodka and shame
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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