I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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