Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
no more duck duck goose at the bar
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
