I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
