stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
