that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
should my penis look like a turkey
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He has the fingertips of a God
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
