i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize