my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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