Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Randomize
