remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
