girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
