My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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