i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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