wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
