Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
