Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
She has the best kind of daddy issues
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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