My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
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