marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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