Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
