there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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