Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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