People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
it's like heaven, but drunker
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
