If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
So squirting runs in the family.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize