lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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