I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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