I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
