Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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