The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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