So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
