The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
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you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
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My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Boobs are out for the taking
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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