I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
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i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize