her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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