That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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