My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
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Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
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In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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